My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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