I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
