All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
