My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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