I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Two words: blizzard sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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