well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
