Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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