So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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