I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
