We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
