Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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