Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize