found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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