I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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