Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
