Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize