$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i dont even know how to be here
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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