in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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