Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
