So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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