Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
