How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
