is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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