when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
