He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
