i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
