It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Please don't give away my fajitas
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
