fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I enjoy the company of your penis
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
