My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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