so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
