Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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