Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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