Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize