turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
did i walk over a car last night?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.