just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
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Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Bring me that man meat
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy