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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

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• (518): View more from New York

  goodnight i made you a song goodbye

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• (718): View more from New York

  At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.

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• (415): View more from California

  dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (845): View more from New York

  no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now

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• (516): View more from New York

  No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter

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