I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
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You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.