Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
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as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?