Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures