sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
