did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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