I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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