you guys were way drunker than both of me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
