We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
