i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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