I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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