Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
