please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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