So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We talked him into tasing himself.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
