I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
