Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
