he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
