I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
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I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
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I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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