im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize