I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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