He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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