Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
where am i from again
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
