drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I am one with the molecules
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
