ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
