Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
