Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
