guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
